Patterns that feel like "just who I am" can change with the right care.
A personality disorder is a long-standing pattern of thinking, feeling, and relating to others that causes real distress or gets in the way of work, relationships, and daily life. These patterns usually take shape in the teens or early twenties, and people often spend years believing nothing can be done about them. That isn't true.
What it can look like
- Borderline personality disorder: intense and fast-changing emotions, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, and sometimes self-harm.
- Avoidant and dependent patterns: deep sensitivity to rejection, difficulty being alone or making decisions without reassurance.
- Obsessive-compulsive personality: rigid perfectionism and control that strains relationships and work.
- Narcissistic, paranoid, and other patterns: persistent difficulty with trust, empathy, or self-image that repeats across situations.
Personality disorders very often travel with depression, anxiety, ADHD, trauma, or substance use, and it takes a careful evaluation to tell what is what.
How we treat it
Psychotherapy is the foundation, and approaches like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and other skills-based therapies have strong evidence, especially for borderline personality disorder. We help you find the right therapist if you don't already have one. Medication doesn't treat the personality disorder itself, but it can make a real difference for the mood swings, anxiety, impulsivity, or sleep problems that come with it. Dr. Shaikh's years leading the Professionals in Crisis and young adult programs at The Menninger Clinic mean this is familiar ground.